With so much digital communication, we now see the tremendous rarity of even having some shred of self awareness of our minds craving, fear and simply not caring.
To have discovered this within ourselves is a tremendous blessing.
To have even the desire to cultivate a sense of equanimity is a further rarity.
If you see even a shred of this within yourself, try to be with it, try to be brave.
I am reactive
More than I wish I was
So being reactive is the stepping stone to discovering part of who I am.
I try to remember how fleeting thoughts are, as in the Wizard of Oz-‘People come and go so quickly here …’
or the wise saying
Good and Bad
Happy and Sad
All Things vanish
Like the imprint
Of a Bird in the Sky
In my practice I am focusing on learning about conditional enjoyment vs. unconditional enjoyment.
Conditional enjoyment is all about making me happy. ‘I’ will be happy if…..happens.
Unconditional enjoyment is about letting go ,and as much as possible, enjoying what is right now.
If we live for conditional enjoyment then our enjoyment of life is very, very limited.
The truth is good and bad constantly enter and leave our life in each passing moment. You can not lock it down.
Nor is there the one perfect person who will enter our life and suddenly all will be well.
These expectations are full of far too many moving parts for them to ever line up for very long- far too many causes and conditions must align for happiness to occur. Happiness will be a rarity in your life.
Practice letting go and enjoying what is now.
Now is always here.
On the Buddhist path, so much press is given to the mind, however our body requires an equal amount. We are not brains on a stick!
Whole texts are devoted to synchronizing our body ‘Touching Enlightenment’ by Reggie Ray.
We may may think we are meditating honestly and fully, however our body will tell us if we are denying reality.
When we sit, our bodies and minds are to be synchronized as one. To the extent we are able to do so, is one sign we are fully present.
I also recommend we exercise our body.
I play a racquet game called Pickleball. Easy to learn, hard to master.
We have an image of ourselves as a certain person at a certain moment.
Our interactions with the world constantly provide us with feedback as to the authenticity of that image.
If we wish to become more real, more authentically ourself, we work honestly with that feedback. We crack open our ego and become more open to resolving our issues and strengths- we become more real.
Just to see our faults and virtues is a small victory in our lives. Most lives are spent as rats on a treadmill, whether by circumstance or by succumbing to our emotions or Kleshas.
We must take the long view as a warrior training in the fundamentals-small steps before large.
We seek a path for understanding ourselves,
but it can only be our own path.
We can not follow another’s path and become them.
I am written deep from within.
I must create myself, be myself, find myself, love and delight myself
and keep doing so
Even at age 65 there is mystery, delight, sadness and joy to be had before I die.
and the end of this life draws even closer by the hour.